So, its been far too long since i've posted anything on here. Ha.
Well, i was kinda hoping for a much better year than last year. with all the stuff with my parents seperating, and everything with ross. well, its been worse.
and i just CANNOT wait until graduation. I'm getting out of NY for a little bit...and im kinda just leaving. Not telling anyone where im going or anything...i just need out.
I think a lot of it has to do with that whole Kristina and Ross thing. If only I never told her about him. at all. a lot of this never would have happened. i know ross and i would have had our differences bc of him using me to get back at his girlfriend, but everything would have semi worked out later on. it would have been a lot better than it is now.
he wont even be my friend really. which honestly, i blame on her. idk. but here comes the question. why dont i just give up and not even worry about assholes like him?
I guess after 11 months of waiting for something that looked like it was going to happen for a couple of short months, i hung on. and for someone like me, its hard to let go of something i WASTED 11 months of my life on.
well, onto other things...
i asked Alex, this kid i work with if he would go to ball with me. He told me possibly, but he wasnt sure if he would be home. well, now hes home for spring break and stuff, and this girl jess that we work with was telling me that he was telling her that he didn't want to go with me and all this other stuff. but then i was talking to kristen and she was saying that he never said anything like that. that all he was saying was that he still didnt know his exam schedule so he didnt know if he was going to be home, and that he wasnt sure if he would have money.
but, i would be paying for everything. i asked him to come with me. so i feel its my responsibility to pay for everything. and i would. money is not an issue where im concerned...
well, what else is there to talk about?
I've been working a lot lately. last week i had 36.5 hours. yay me. Hahaha. Kristen was looking at the thing the other night, i came in second place with hours. she came in first of course. haha. its going to be a good paycheck, and i could really use that money. lol.
so the other day, we were really dead at work. and so i started doing projects and such. well, one of the projects was to clean the denny's hill of all the shit on it and stuff. so i go out, and i start cleaning the hill, and i look down at one point, and i found a 5 dollar bill. YAY me. hahahaha.
well, i think thats my update for now.
as always, COMMENT. haha.
sooo, yeah. he doesn't like me...
hes just been leading me on for...ELEVEN fucking months. fuck him...
Me: Do you...like me? I guess is what I'm looking for. I just need to know. I don't want to get hurt.
Him: Like as a friend hell ya idk i guess i nvr thought of u like that prolly cuz i thought of u as a friend when i had a g.f uk i dont wanna dont like an asshole i guess don't hate me
Me: So what was you kissing me then? Just nothing to you?
Me: Cuz it wasn't to me. You had me going there
Him: Sorry if it came out like that
Him: do you hate me
Me: Well what else is kissing supposed to mean?
Me: I waited 11 months for this as my answer
Him: I have had friends and we kissed b4 but idk just do u hate me cuz i dont need anymore problems on my mind
Me: No i dont hate you i hate myself.
Him: don't hate urself.
Me: why not? i feel stupid
Him: y do u feel stupid
Me: why do you think?
Him: don't feel stupid ok
Me: for letting my feelings for someone get the best of me bc for once i thought that the person i liked actually liked me back
Him: but i gotta get 2 bed good night and i will ttyl
Him: y do u feel stupid
Me: I just said why
Him: no you didn't
Me: yes i did
Him: well i didn't get it then
Me: i said for letting my feelings someone get the best of me bc for once in my life i thought that person felt the same way
Him: i feel like an asshole
Him: but i really need 2 get 2 sleep so sweet dreams
Him: and im sorry im such an asshole
That was all the first conversation the night i asked him...this next one is the next day...
14:45] gmcREV: hey
[14:45] HuggsnotDruggs26: hi
[14:45] gmcREV: how r u
[14:46] HuggsnotDruggs26: fine
[14:46] HuggsnotDruggs26: u?
[14:46] gmcREV: ok do u hate me
[14:46] HuggsnotDruggs26: idk. im just really hurt
[14:47] gmcREV: im sorry
[14:47] gmcREV: i didnt think u thought of me like that either though i thought we were just friends
[14:47] HuggsnotDruggs26: how could u not know??
[14:49] gmcREV: idk i just thought we were friends im sorry if i hurt im an asshole and i hope u dont hate me
[14:52] HuggsnotDruggs26: ur the only one thats ever made not...hate myself. and the way you talked to me and shit made me feel special
[14:52] HuggsnotDruggs26: so its my fault for reading that wrong
[14:53] gmcREV: ya but thats what friends r for 2 uk
[14:54] HuggsnotDruggs26: for making out and asking for pictures of u in ur thong and bra??
[14:55] gmcREV: idk what 2 say u prolly just hate me so i will just let u go
[14:57] gmcREV: im sorry
[14:59] gmcREV: i really am i hope u wanna b my friend still
[15:00] gmcREV: ?
[15:01] HuggsnotDruggs26: idk. i would need time to think about it i guess
[15:01] gmcREV: :'(
[15:02] gmcREV: im sorry i really am i just thought of us as friends im sorry 4 everything i really am just dont hate me please b my friend
[15:04] gmcREV: ?
[15:07] HuggsnotDruggs26: brb
[15:07] gmcREV: ok
[15:27] HuggsnotDruggs26: kk back
[15:27] gmcREV: kk
[15:28] gmcREV: im sorry i really am i just thought of us as friends im sorry 4 everything i really am just dont hate me please b my friend
[15:29] HuggsnotDruggs26: i...guess..
[15:29] gmcREV: i really am sorry
[15:29] HuggsnotDruggs26: ok
[15:30] gmcREV: dont hate me
[15:44] Meebo Message: gmcREV is offline
i feel like shit
i have nowhere to rant anymore. i feel sick.
why do guys suck so much and lie so much?
can any of you guys out there please tell me? cuz i'd really like to know.
or maybe its not all guys. maybe its just this one guy.
he sucks. terribly.
i'm really starting to hate him, which hurts. i feel like he's hiding something from me. i wish if he didn't like me he would just tell me.
he'll talk to someone i work with, and add her as a friend on myspace and facebook, but not me. and he doesn't even know her! and me and him are supposed to be "talking".
so tell me, please. what the fuck is he hiding from me?
he acts like he likes me. after all, he does like to makeout with me. he does like to hang out with me. so wtf is going on? i really want to know. i dont want to be hurt again.
i talked to her today about it. i think she thinks that i dont trust her. i told her its not that i dont not trust her, i just cant trust people in general. i have the hardest time trusting people. idk why, so dont ask. it will never seem like i cant trust someone. you never see it in me. bc, i'm friends with those people. i will be your friend. but i wont trust you. i wont trust you unless you have proven to me that you can be trusted.
wanna know how many people in my life i can trust besides my family?
i think its just about 1 or 2. truly. you know how many friends i have? best friends for that matter? best friends, and they haven't proven to me that i can trust them. do you know how long i have known those people? a few years atleast. do you know how much that hurts me? above all. having best friends for YEARS and not being able to trust them?
wanna know something even more messed up? of those 2 people that i trust, 1 doesn't even live in ny state. we've never met. and she's already proven to me that i can trust her more than any of my best friends.
how sad is that?
my other friend that i can trust, i've known for 14 years. were practically joined at the hip.
wanna know why i can't trust people? bc they lie to me too much. part of the reason why. idk the other things that make me not trust someone. i dont. i dont know what i look for when i look for someones trust. i just know its there. and you just have to somehow prove to me that i can have that trust.
and asking me doesn't help either. that shows u want my trust, but obviously dont know what it takes to get it.
idk. this is a rant above other things bc of one small thing. and i totally come out with this whole thing.
ummm yeah. def been 24 weeks since i updated. haha.
how long ago would that be now? other than the obvious...24 weeks.
lol. i think it might have been...june? haha. maybe july.
well, things are going shitty. other than today. and the few times that ross and i have hung out. except, today was the first time we hung out where he was single =]]. so i did all the kissing i wanted. lol. didn't exactly stop us before =o. woops. u didn't hear that from me. hahaha.
i really dont know what to write about lol. its just that im in a good mood for the first time in a really long time, can u guess why? haha.
he smelled sooo good =]]]. thought i would share that bit of info. lmao.
yeahh so. yeahh. update later. prolly going to be another 24 weeks haha.
Wow bad week on my end, so I have just a few thoughts...
Don't lie to me for 6 straight months and THINK i won't find out about it! I always do, and if you haven't read my "who i would like to meet" section, you really should...
Don't ask me to lie for you, bc I don't lie, and I won't lie. Not that this pertains to any of you people on here, but OK, just DONT ask me!!
Don't talk about me when I'm standing right there. It's not cool, and I will be a bitch.
If you don't like me, just tell me. I can handle it. Im not 7 freaking years old...and chances are, I prolly don't like you either...
I think that sums up this week. The people I am writing this about who they are...kinda.
hahaha. ok. so, my brother ordered chinese, and i dont eat chinese, but I do eat the fortune cookies, and so i took the fortune cookies, and almost totally ate the fortune paper thing and not the cookie. How dumb am I? Haha.
Anyways, this week is spring break, and its going ok I guess. Haven't been doing much at all! But i'll get to that in a minute.
Saturday was really fun. More fun than I have had in a long time. So it was Michelle, Mark and Me, and we went to NWA Upstate. Sooo much fun. Me and Michelle only watched a few matches really. Haha. We were talking to Freddy like the whole time. It was a lot of fun though. After Art's and Shawn's match, we went to go get food, bc we didn't know ANYBODY in the second match. Lol. So as we were going up, we saw Ed, and started talking to him. Then we got our food, and then...went back down. When I went to go throw my garbage out (hot fries baggy), I went up and hugged Marc, and our hugg was goood (shhh). Haha. I'm gonna be completely honest, I kinda didn't wanna let go. But, its not like I like him kind of thing. Just as friends. He gives good huggs too.
So, I went up and talked to him, and then during intermission, I went and got a picture with him, and tried getting one with Ed. The pictures with Eddy though were coming out HORRIBLE, but, I just decided I would get another one some other time. So, I said it was fine. Then, after intermission, Michelle wanted a picture with him, so I called him back over, for her picture, and then I was like "I don't like our picture anymore" so we got a few more, of which, I didn't like those either, but again, I decided I wouldn't waste anymore time, and i was like "ehhh this one is fine i guess". after I said that, hes like "your saying that now, but in another 30 minutes you'll be coming back up to me 'i dont like that picture anymore'". I just had to laugh. So, after the final match, I decided I didn't like that picture anymore. So Michelle wanted another picture also bc their picture came out really dark, and then he just kinda looked at me, and i go "i dont like the picture anymore". lol. So, again, the pics were coming out HORRIBLE!! Amy eventually came over, and was like "give me the camera" so she took it, and i of course liked the picture. Lmao. Tooo funny. Next show I'll prolly be doing the same thing. Can't waitttt. Haha.
Before I went back over to Eddy after the last match, Art came over, and we all got a group picture. In the picture was me, Art, Shawn, Mastiff, and Michelle, and in one of the pictures was Art's friend Chris. Soo, the first picture was good, but it was REALLY small, so we went for another one. I zoomed in with my camera, and I had to kneel in front of Art (I'm taller than him), for everyone to be in the picture. Pretty funny. So then, Art pulls in Chris, and Mastiff, just meeting Chris, like grabs his crotch or something, and we took a final picture with us all pointing at Chris' area. It was soooo funny.
So yeah, overall, the wrestling was good, but the pictures and stuff were even better ;-)
Easter was pretty good. Spent the day with my father, grandma and poppy, and my sister and younger brother. It was a good day. Mom didn't join because of everything going on with her and my dad. It really sucks. So, we went out to brunch around 1 o'clock, and then went over grandma's and Poppy's house. We left their house around 8, and I drove over to Aunt Becky's and Uncle Gary's where my mom was. So my dad dropped us off, and we were over there till around 1 in the morning. I fell asleep downstairs watching TV with the wood stove burning. OoOh, it was niceeee. Haha.
So, like I said before, Spring break was this weekend. It's been alright I guess. Monday I didn't do ANYTHING, Tuesday I had to watch video's at work. Today was really the only fun day really. It was spent with Lauren and Britt, and we went to the movies and saw "Blades of Glory" and then after the movie, we went out and ate some lunch. It was good. We just went to the foodcourt, and I had Arby's. My usual, chicken fingers with a cup of cheese, curly fries, and honey mustard. Yummy :). After we ate, we drove to Wegmans so Britt could go and get some chapstick, and the Britt dropped Lauren off at her house, and then dropped me off, and then here I am typing something nobody reads :-p. Haha.
So, I'm eating these really good cough drop from Ricola. They taste like candy canes. I finally approve of some cough drops. lmao. But yeah. Their from Ricola, and the name is Swiss Herb Candy or something like that. Even though the bag said Lemon. IDK. Their my sisters, so maybe she mixed her cough drops together? I have no idea. Haha. But yeah. I think if you have troubles eating cough drops bc of the tastes (of the ones that work), you should go and get these. Haha.
So, I'm talking to Nikki, and telling her about these yummy cough drops, and all I can think about is the Ricola Commercial, where it's like "Riiiiicolaaaa". Haha.
I FINALLY got a job. I'm working over at Burger King on West Ridge Road with Nicole. Had my interview Monday, and then had Orientation yesterday. I go back in on Tuesday for videos. But yeah. Im working over at BK!!! Hahahaha Tom. Lmao. I'll get you a REAL BK crown....
Been sick this past week. Well, since, who knows? I really dont know actually. Thanks to Tia. But, in all fareness, she did warn me, AFTER i drank from her water. Haha. Thanks again Tia. OoH, but this cold SUCKS! I'm really hating this one. Not so much the stuffy nose, I can live with that, but the constant headaches, and the sore throat is whats killing me. It's bad enough I have really bad headaches every day even without the cold, but its worse now. *Sigh*. Colds suck.
Babysitting has been going good. I'm actually starting to get the baby food in the babies mouth, and not all over me. Haha. YESSSS FINALLY!! Lol. It only took about a month. Haha. But, I think Ty actually remembers me, but he's constantly crying for his mom or dad to come how bc thats who he wants home. Haha. Understandable though. I was the same way when I was his age. He hasn't let me touch him at all until this past Tuesday. He came and sat in my lap and stuff. Well, he wanted to hold the baby, and he's not old enough yet to hold her on his own, so I told him if he came and sat in my lap, I would put her in his lap. He didn't want to at first, so I had him sit in the chair on the back or whatever, and then I put her in his lap. But, she got too heavy, so I had to take her off of his lap. And then I was holding her, bc the kids were playing around the floor and like running and jumping, and I didn't want them to accidentally hit her, and Ty just came right over, and sat in my lap, and asked me if I could put Alexis in his lap. It was quite cute. I think he's warming up to me again :). It's always a plus.
Right now, I'm doing nothing. I am however talking to Nikki and Ross, and then later tonight, Britt is coming over to pick me up, and were going over Lauren's house for her birthday party. She's finally Britt's and my age. Haha. So, on that note, this is the end of my post.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAUREN!!!
Sooo its been a REALLY LONG time since i last updated. Haha. Well, whats been going on since that last post? Amerks, Amerks, and more Amerks. Lmao. School, and nothing else really. Haha.
Although, since the beginning of the year, I have started talking to this kid Ross. I really like him. Lol. And he likes me back I guess. Well, he talks like he does. Lol. But, we started talking about 2 1/2 months ago, and he's just sooo nice, and the stuff he says really makes me smile. Lol. I don't know if he is still going out with this girl he goes to school with though. We started talking to each other before they started going out and stuff. And then, they started dating (really hurting me), and then IDK whats going on anymore. Lol. It's kind of confusing, but i'm not complaining. He REALLY makes me smile :). Haha.
Hmmmm whats else in the life of Chrystal Hirsch? Not much really. Went to wrestling back in February. OMG I miss going to the shows soooo much! Haha. I can't wait until the 7th. It will be mega loads of fun. Haha.
Prom is coming up soon. I already have my dress. It's sooo pretty. It's black and white. Its hard to explain, so I'l post a picture sometimes soon. Bu'yeah. Prom is on May 19th, which is the same day as my great grandma's memorial service thing. Sooo, I guess the service is in the morning, so my grandma (not on that side of the family) is going to take me to get my hair and make-up done and stuff, and then IDK. We shall go from there. I can't waitttt.
I think this is my update for a little while. Lmao. Nothing to write about anymore. Haha.
Happy New Years everyone.
So not much has been going on since the last time I updated. Went to a few more Amerks games, then theirs school, and other stuff.
I’ll just update about Christmas, WWE, Youth Group Lock-in, and New Years.
I woke up at around 9:30, and then went downstairs. Everyone was awake except for Christopher, so Elijah went downstairs and woke him up. He woke up, and then we opened gifts. I got…
--POTC Fleece (Orlando Blooms face is like the whole blanket)
--3 Movies (POTC 2, Miracle, and the Outsiders
--Small stuff (I can’t remember everything)
So then, we all took showers and stuff, and then Grandma and Poppy came over, so we ate dinner, and then cleaned everything up. After cleaning, we opened gifts. From Grandma and Poppy I got…
--25 Dollar Mall giftcard
--Stuff in our bags.
I also got the stuff from my Aunt Row (20 dollars) and from Aunt D (10 dollars).
After gifts, we played games such as Boggle (boring) and Phase 10, which I quit because I couldn’t get off of Phase 3. Haha. Later that night, Aunt Becky and Uncle Gary came over.
I went to a RAW house show last Wednesday, and it was pretty awesome! I finally got to see JOHN CENA (MY LOVEEEEE) live, so that was pretty awesome. The first half was kind of boring, bc I didn’t know who anyone wrestling was. Either did daddy. Haha. We sat threw the first half going "who is that? Who is that?". Haha. Pretty funny. I think the guy next to me was giving me dirty looks. Haha. Sorry, but I only came to see Randy Orton and John Cena.
Charlie Haas is back, which was awesome seeing him in person again. He grew out his hair though, which I didn’t like. It’s tooo poofy. Haha. Also, I got to see Jeff Hardy for the first time, like ever. Lmao. He was pretty cool. He was in a Ladder match, which rocked the house. Carlito Caribbean Cool was in that match as well. As well as Nitro. That was about the only match before intermission where I knew everyone in it! Haha.
So, during intermission, I went to the bathroom, and then I saw MARC, so I went and talked to him. It was pretty awesome. I finally got my hug that I wanted for like the past 3 months. Haha. Actually, I got 2. And we talked about me going to the next NWA show, so I told him I would try to go. I think it’s almost official now that I’m going, but I’m not sure. I gotta talk to some people.
After intermission, there was like 3-4 matches or something like that. The first match after intermission was the 6 man tag match. It was Randy Orton, Edge, and some guy I don’t know, vs. Triple H, Shawn Michaels, and Ric Flair. I guess their no longer Heels anymore? Haha. The last time I watched WWE, they were all being boo’ed, and then when I went Wednesday, everyone was cheering for them.
Then, I don’t really remember the matches after that, except, the last match which was John Cena’s match. OMGGGGGGGGG HE’S SOOOOOO FLIPPING HOTTTTTT!!! NO LIE!!! Hahaha. I did my deafening scream that I do. It was awesome. Old man in front of me, kinda got mad at me. Also doesn’t help I accidenatally hit him in the back of the head with my purse. Lmao. Pretty funny. Bu’yeah. So, John won his match by DQ, and that was the end of the show.
After the show, I went out back, in hopings to get a picture with John Cena. Yeah, didn’t happen. Their were literally like hundreds of people out back, and their were tonssss of security guys out back. And they kept pushing us to the corner of the building. Whatever. I don’t think the wrestlers needed THAT much room to walk from the door to the car. Ughhh. Lmao.
So Holley was out back with me and dad, and then Marc came and talked to us, which was pretty funny, because Holley was giving him a dirty look. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a dirty look from someone. Lmao. So I introduced them to each other, and then Holley wasn’t giving him anymore dirty looks. Haha. Atleast until he called her old. Lmaoooo. OMG that was funny. Haha.
So, I was telling Holley, that instead of going through this outback crap with EVERYONE, we could have gotten into the locker room, because I do know like everyway to get into the locker room. Haha.
So, I got to see John Cena go outback, which was pretty awesome. I saw him walk from the door, to the car. So after I saw him get into the car, I got my dad, and we left. So like, as we were walking to our car, I hear people screaming and stuff, so I turn around, and theres John’s car coming towards us! Haha. So I walked to the edge of the street, and waved, but he wasn’t looking. He was doing something with his phone. Haha. But, I was like 5 feet from him, if that, which made me happy.
So Friday was the youth group lock-in at Aldersgate, which was a lot of fun. We weren't aloud to do anything really though, which was majorly gay. Because Phil thought we go and make-out and stuff. So we started off the real night (lol), by playing this game called "Wheel of Shame or Glory", which was a lot of fun. During one of the things, the Chariot Races, we had to have people on our back, and so I carried Caitlin, and we are the best piggy back people! No lie! So anyways, our team won, so we get to have our names put on a plaque that will hang in the youth room. Major fun.
Then, we ate (lots), and did our own things. There were movies going on in the old Chapel, and you could play games and stuff in the gym, or you could go and play games in the youth room. So I was all over all night. It was a lot of fun. When I was down in the youth room playing games, Michelle and me made up extreme air hockey, which was a lot of fun. We had pucks flying everywhere! It was fun. Then, Nicole came and found me, and we went into the gym, and did "karaoke" (sp?), singing songs (loudly) off Nicole's I-Pod. That was tons of fun as well.
So overall, Friday night youth group lock-in was funnnn. Haha.
Alrighty now, nothing left to talk about. I got some super sweet pictures from the show, so once I get those up on Nic’s computer, I’ll have to share them!
So last night was spent over the Clark’s house. We played games and ate pizza.
We played Phase 10, and even though I couldn’t get off of Phase 3 (again), I didn’t quit. I actually got to the end pretty much. Just didn’t finish the last two phases, because my mom won, and went out.
After Phase 10, Kelsey, Elijah, Noah, and me all went and played LIFE in Kelsey’s room. Then Noah’s friend Rob came over, so he joined the game, because we weren’t very far. Haha.
So in the game of LIFE, I went through college, and my job was a professional athlete who earned $70,000. But then I switched with Kelsey’s earnings, which were $100,000, but then she got that back. I got married to Mark Mancari, and we had no kids. The way I see it, because Mark is a professional athlete, and in the game, so was I, we didn’t have time to make babies, because we were never together, because we were always going places for our jobs. I decided today that I was a professional soccer player. Then as I was about prolly 50, I had a mid-life crisis, and had to switch jobs. I became a travel agent. Haha. We also lived in a trailor home. As I see it, no point in having a house if your never going to be there. Haha. So I finished the game first, and I think I won with over 2 million.
Elijah also went through college, got a job as a superstar, and married Star, who is a 2 dollar stripper. He also had a mid-life crisis and became an artist. He earned $90,000 and had a house that looked like it got hit with a earthquake or something. Haha. Him and Star were having trouble having babies, and I told him it was because she prolly had AIDS, so he didn’t want to have sex with her. But, they ended up having a kid. Haha.
Kelsey went through college, and became a school teacher, who earned $100,000 so we were joking around, and said that she was teaching dog and cat to earn so much. But then her salary got switched with mine, so it was just cat, and then she got her $100,000 back, so she was again teaching dog and cat, but then it got switched with Rob’s salary, which was $50,000 so then she was just teaching Ca. Haha. Kelsey lived in the Victorian house, and was married, and had a few kids.
Noah as well went through college, was a doctor, but had to change jobs after only like 3 turns. We told him that he was doing illegal malpractice. Haha. He earned $80,000 and when his job was switched, he became a tax collector. He got married, and had 4 kids. He had a normal house I believe.
Rob went through college, became a cop, and earned $50,000 which his salary was switching often. Haha. He lived in a normal house, got married and had kids. He was a cop until he retired.
After LIFE, we went downstairs, and played Apples to Apples. I had the Backstreet Boy card, so when my daddy was the judge, I layed that down, because I knew he would pick me, which he did. Haha. Then the ball dropped, we finished our game (Mrs. Ronnie won), and then we dad and Elijah left at around like 1:30, and then mom and me left around 2:15 or something like that. Fun times, as always.
New Years revolution. To lose weight, become less shy so I can talk to boys so I will finally get a boyfriend, and learn to do something else, that only a few select people know.
Ok, honestly, i know this isn't my friend Chris for real, but what the fuck is wrong with his friends?( ConvoCollapse )
Yeah, so Chris had Nicole tell me it was his friends and not really him, but WTF? Shouldn't he be stopping this shit?